The summit meeting between U.S. President Barack Obama and China’s President Xi Jinping could have gone something like this:
Obama: Welcome to America President Xi. Its an honor to host you. I take it that you already know my talking points, courtesy of Unit 61398.
Xi (laughing): Indeed, Mr. President. Thank you for your hospitality so far although I know that there was some back and forth in the White House about how charming you should be toward me. I take it that you too know my talking points, courtesy of PRISM.
Obama (laughing): In that case, why don’t we dispense with any lengthy discussions? Let me simply say that the United States does not accept points 2, 7, 9 and 11 in your draft agreement.
Xi: And we object to 1,3,5 and 7 in yours.
Obama: There, let’s have our aides work out a joint declaration and we are done. Do you realize how much time we have saved? Don’t you just love hacking and surveilling? For instance, I know that this morning you thought the breakfast sucked because I heard you say so while having mine.
Xi: I know yours sucked too because you actually said, “The breakfast sucks.” In my case you merely inferred because we do not use suck the way Americans do.
A wave of laughter as the two leader shake hands and retire to their respective quarters.
A couple of hours later the aides have come up with the final draft of the joint declaration. Xi and Obama meet again without aides.
Obama: Mr. President, my name has been misspelt as Barrack at the end of the draft.
Xi: What makes you think it is a mistake? While we are at it, my last name is not Pingpong.
They both laugh again.
Obama: Ohhh, this is so fun…
Xi: Much, you mean.
Obama: Excuse me..
Xi: So much fun, you mean.
Obama: I bet you did not have to hack for that..
Laughter and bonhomie as the joint declaration is signed.
As the two leaders step out to address a joint news conference, there is only one AP correspondent in the room. The leaders are perplexed.
Obama: Where is everybody?
AP correspondent: Mr. President, we already have copies of your joint declaration, courtesy of Unit 61398 and PRISM. I was left here to let you both know. My story is already on the wire. Didn’t the Attorney-General tell you that?
All three laugh. End of story.