Bruno Mars, Freida Pinto and gorilla sex

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Freida Pinto as Isabella in Bruno Mars’s “Gorilla”

In Bruno Mars’s latest single ‘Gorilla’ Bruno Mars fantasizes that he and Freida Pinto’s character, Isabella the new stripper, will be “fuckin like gorillas.” That is because his body is full of “liquor with a cocaine kicker”, a combo that makes him feel 30 feet tall. And she? Well, Isabella, has got her “legs up in the sky with devil in her eyes.” In short, she is up to the task.

Watching Mars and Pinto doing their best to steam it up with primate mating fantasy, I thought it might be a good idea to say a couple of things about it.

 

Two strippers are bitching about a new stripper called Isabella. One of them thinks that Isabella thinks “he loves her.” No, not the gorilla but Bruno Mars. The other stripper says, “You, of all people, should know no one can tie that boy down.” The gorilla has become a boy now.

Isabella, with her hair carefully disheveled  and dressed in a black leather dress walks past the two strippers in slo-mo and takes to the pole by rubbing herself against it. Mars says, “Ooh I got a body full of liquor with a cocaine kicker and I’m feeling like I’m thirty feet tall” as Pinto begins her seductive act.

She slithers down the pole with two jerks to coincide with the beat. She looks to be in some sort of primal anguish and as the guitar hits a high note she rips off her leather shirt. She stands tall on her heels, clad only in a particularly sexy lingerie. Her pose is that of someone about to fly, more confident than Shah Rukh Khan’s rather effete pose. She tosses her hair so that it spreads like a Japanese fan.

Everything is in slow motion. I wonder what might have happened to the whole video music industry had some geek not invented slo-mo; the sort of geek who would be kicked in his balls by a hefty bouncer guarding precisely the kind of stripper joint here as he tries to get in.

Mars and Isabella shift to the backseat of a car and start making out. She looks deeply pleasured even though he has only just begun. In fantasies such as this gorilla sex is supposed to be a marathon. I am not sure how sensuous and enduring gorilla sex is but if Bruno Mars says it is, I must defer to him. Somewhere along the act, he wants her to bang on his chest.

He wants her to pay no attention even if the neighbors call the cops or the SWAT. He just wants both to “keep rocking while they knocking on our door.”

And then she screams, “give it to me baby, Give it to me motherfucker.” Pinto lip-syncs the word “motherfucker” while on her knees surrounded by one dollar bills. It seems like a cheap joint where patrons rain one dollar bills.

Then she does a split. Now she is walking in slo-mo towards him and goes down but doesn’t do what you think she might do. Instead she licks his guitar strings. The strings do not cut her tongue. She grabs his guitar, throws it down, pours some liquor on it and sets it on fire. I suspect all this is a metaphor for their ignited passions. They continue to make love like gorillas. At the end of the song he runs away like Bruno Mars and then turns into a gorilla and continues to run on all fours while Isabella is writhing in ecstasy in the backseat of the car. The song ends.

Mars and Pinto make a charming couple but not the kind who can pull off primate mating with any degree of persuasiveness. Pinto is a fetching young woman but clearly lacks brazen sexuality that her character is supposed to exude. It all looks rather contrived. Both are asked to play characters which they both are so obviously ill-equipped to. Merely screaming make love like gorillas does not make it so.

I am fairly certain Dr. Jane Goodall was not consulted for the video. I don’t think gorillas can sing and play guitar. For that matter, they can’t write lyrics that say, “Give it to me baby, Give it to me motherfucker.” At best they can write, “Grunt, grunt, oo oo oo oo grunt grunt.” It just does not seem in character for them.

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About chutiumsulfate

South Asians can infer from my name what I am. View all posts by chutiumsulfate

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