Artwork by Mayank Chhaya
To the extent I can, I am claiming global intellectual property right on these three questions asked together. I did it first here and anyone doing so henceforth will be held in violation of my IPR. The penalty will be determined by my imaginary patent attorneys.
In case you do not believe me, I have even created this T-shirt to prove it:
Given my unique standing a sage-philosopher, millions look to me for answers to troubling existential questions such as what resolutions to make for a new year. My resolution for 2014 is to ask these three questions either together or in random combinations to any situation in life without waiting for their answers.
I am conscious that you also have the option of asking Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin to help resolve life’s many dilemmas in front of a dropping ball in Times Square.As a teaser Cooper has already tweeted a topless photo of Griffin taken from behind saying she sent him the picture of “her outfit for New Year’s Eve. She’s kidding, right? Please tell me she is.” Oh, the things ageing hosts do for the ratings!
So I am grateful that you are here.
Unless we all, the entire sentient world, wake up on the morning of the first day of the randomly numbered 2014 in eternal bliss free of any suffering whatsoever, let’s not make much of a change of a numeral. I mean you can because it is not mandatory to follow what I say here but still just saying. At the very least can 2014 guarantee that none of us will have to work to survive? Also, all of us will be debt-free? Okay, can we at least get one day free of creditors calling to remind that our bills are way past due? If even this minor wish is not granted by 2014, then 2014 can go 2014 itself.
Trust me, the only sane questions to ask are So? So what? So what now?