Here are my six uncritical conclusions about India’s election inferred from its coverage by a substantial part of the Indian media. In reaching them, all that I needed to do was to believe everything that has been said and distil it down to six points.
- All that remains for Narendra Modi to decide is which color kurta to wear to his swearing-in and which family members to take with him. The latter is easy—none. The former much harder since he has so many.
- All that Rahul Gandhi has to decide is at which MNREGA site to seek a temporary employment.
- All that Sonia Gandhi has to decide is whether to make corkscrew pasta or seashell pasta when Rahul returns home exhausted from MNREGA work.
- All that the Bharatiya Janata Party has to decide is how to accommodate its 300 plus Members of Parliament with ministerial positions.
- All that the Congress Party has to decide is how to disband itself.
- All that India needs to address its vast variety of problems is to let Narendra Modi work uninterrupted in his South Block office for one full day.