William and Catherine’s very satisfactory fun visit

William and Catherine visited New York over the weekend amid what Sir Peter Westmacott, the British Ambassador to the United States, described as “absolutely phenomenal” excitement.

He also described his task for the royal visit thus: “It’s important for us to ensure they have a great time. We hope this will be a very satisfactory happy fun visit.”

Westmacott was right in saying that about a couple who otherwise lead such miserable lives in their palace harrumphing and clapping from time to time. They did indeed need a “very satisfactory fun visit” unlike their other visits which are merely very satisfactory fun.

Nick Loughran, a spokesman for the couple, was asked : "How will the duchess spend her downtime?"

That’s funny because their whole life is downtime. The media should have been more specific about which aspect of their overall downtime.

The spokesman was also asked if there was a contingency plan for possible rain which he answered with famous British royal understatement saying, “Umbrellas.”  What he should have said is, “Yes, we are asking the clouds to bugger off.”

Now that the two have concluded their “very satisfactory fun visit” during which it was ensured by the British ambassador that they had a great time, it breaks my heart to know that they would go back to their harrowing existence inside a little building called the Kensington Palace which, according to the Mail on Sunday’s Katie Nicholl, was recently furnished for 4.5 million pounds (about $7 million).

Once you know how difficult life gets inside their 20-room apartment you begin to understand why they need a break from that from time to time and visit around the world where top British diplomats ensure they have a great time. You also begin to understand why the media needs to be specific when it asks how the duke and duchess intend to spend their downtime.

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About chutiumsulfate

South Asians can infer from my name what I am. View all posts by chutiumsulfate

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